Friday - Pre-Departure

Julie: So, the night before we leave and we're going over our fears.  Now, I am quite nervous about the mule ride we'll be taking during our visit to the north rim of Grand Canyon.  Due to the many statements from coworkers and friends, I am now terrified of the mule losing its footing and tumbling quite violently into the Grand Canyon. I have visions now of two locals using massive paddles to scrape my remains from the bottom of the canyon. Due to this fear, my anxiety mounts to where I'm afraid I will need to take a Xanax prior to mounting my mule. At which point, I probably fall immediately asleep, slimer off the side of the mule, and wind up at the bottom anyway.  Either way, I'm sure someone is scraping me off the bottom of the canyon.  Erin's job is just to tell people I went in sleep and not to Facebook, Tweet, or Instagram the event....until an appropriate amount of time has passed.

Erin is complaining about the new bindi she has between her eyes compliments of a mosquito. Also, I'm slightly distracted on account of the Magic Mike trailer playing on tv (or as I just mindlessly referred to it as "Massive Junk.")

Erin:  Today I completed the prep for the Great Western Adventure.  This included eyebrow and leg wax.  I waxed my new bindi, OUCH, and my legs look like I have the pox.  Apparently, I thought the best way to start a vacation was to look as if I suffer from an eradicated 19th century disease.

We've packed our car, a lovely white Dodge Avenger that I have affectionately named Thor.  As a side note, I learned today that my father has a second cousin named Thor.  I was oddly comforted by this tidbit of information, there are, in fact, stranger people in our family.  Prior to packing Thor, the car not the cousin, I stopped by Momsy and Popsicle's house to drop off our itinerary and pick up some 'necessities' for the trip.  Ahhhh, why do I mock the word 'necessities'?  It's because of the items my father attempted to cram into Thor's trunk.  Why yes, the road emergency kit is handy, thank you!  Oh, I can borrow your GPS, how kind.  Please sir, remove the 10 year old flares, Thor dislikes incendiaries in the heat of the desert in his rear.  Yes I have flashlights.  No I don't need more.  Why do you have an old hi-fi in your garage? No I don't need it, get it out of the trunk.  Blankets and firewood, also unneeded.  Apparently my father has seen too many movies that involve breaking down in the desert and the only method of survival is rocking out to some sweet rock-a-billy music on the hi-fi to calm the half mutant "Hills Have Eyes" types and gila monsters.

Julie: I'm not sure what Erin has planned, but the list on her refrigerator markerboard has me concerned.  Goodnight! More in the morning!